Andrea

Sheridan

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 03:34:49 GMT

I have been on a livejournal hiatus. Mostly because i have joined the Facebook brigade.. and now i feel the need to write something a bit more private that i am not entirely wanting the entire facebook community to read. not that i am oppose to people reading my thoughts. Its more being not comfortable with people feeling the need to comment and console? I am not looking for consolation. I am just looking for an outlet to get out things i need and want to say.
I am in Ontario. Living here. Schooling here. Working my butt of here.
Classes are ridiculously hard and i am struggling more than i thought i would which is apparently a normal thing. Part of the experience here is the struggle.. overcoming that and growing not only as a performer but as an overall person.
To BE a performer you need to have that inner balance of some sort. Theatre isn't all weird people who are there for all the deeeppp meaningful dark creepy abstract... things. It's people there uniting under a common passion. A form of artwork that speaks to them. No matter the genre. To even consider this lifestyle passion is a MUST. Because if you don't love it.. it's not worth the hell of trying to do it for your life.

I have started to uncover my personal huge flaw. It's something i have known was there in the background. But this past week especially it has started as a knot under my sternom and moved progressivly up my chest into my throat and out of my mouth in a somewhat desperate cry of understanding.
I have a wall. I huge wall of insecurity inside of me. A wall which prevents me from tapping into the unknown and the uncomfortable. Im afraid of looking stupid. I'm afraid of looking ugly. I'm afraid of looking like i have no idea what i am doing. I am afraid of failing. however in order to suceed - the act of failing is necessary! You NEED to fail to learn the things you need to know to succeed. What a process. I don't know how to tap into this wall and just let myself be open to really letting go. To not caring what people think. To not be intimidated by all of the beautiful beautiful people i am in the program with. I am not beautiful like these people. I am a thorn among the roses. That scares me too. Petty. But true. I'm a girl. I want to be seen as something beautiful. I don't want to be the awkward one up there. But if i get over my wall then it won't matter because i WILL be able to sell mself as a package because i AM my package. I am what i work with. I am my instrument. If i completly believe and love this precious thing i have to sell then by god... people will see that and want to see more of that.

We are classified as Actor/singer/dancer dancer/actor singer.. singer/actor/dancers.. myself being the latter. Today i had a chance to get up in front of everyone preforming my musical theatre selection. And during it... after it... i just felt like i was a huge bobble of flaw. that I let my STRENGTH down.

That didn't feel good.

The best feeling in the world for me is to be completly captivated in an amazing moment . So amazing that the world around you slips away and doesnt matter because it is that moment - and only that moment - that matters. It's holding your breath and not even realizing it - then at that moment of letting it go... it's honestly.. the orgasm of breathing. It feels so good and raw that you want it again. I want to make other people feel that.

A

Yeomen of the Guard

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 06:07:45 GMT

Newwww show is

Gilbert and Sullivan's YEOMEN OF THE GUARD

Running March 30th through April 7th at the Pumphouse Theatres.

Tickets are available at www.morpheustheatre.ca, by phoning 216-0808 OR at the door!
$15 adults
$12 students/seniors

I am playing the very acrobatic.. and one of the female lead roles Elsie Maynard.

Hope to see y'all out!

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 17:19:52 GMT

Brittany, Katrine, Haley and Heather beat the Russians (2006 OLYMPIC womens team and reigning University games champs) 6-5 to clench the Gold medal at worlds.

CANADA UNIVERSITY WOMEN ARE WORLD CHAMPS!

GO CANADA

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 16:25:07 GMT

BRITT WON THE SEMI FINAL VS SWEDEN IN ITALY THIS MORNING

meaning....

THEY PLAY IN THE GOLD MEDAL GAME VS RUSSIA ON SATURDAY

AT WORLDS!

ummmm HOLA EXCITED

PLEASE SEND THEM MOTIVATIONAL SUPPORT AS THEY ARE DOING A DAMN FINE JOB REPRESENTING CANADA...

at.... teamgregor@hotmail.com

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BRING HOME THE GOLD GIRLS!!!!

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 02:35:01 GMT

I have a feeling that i maybe may have taken on too many things at once.
For real this time.

uh oh!!

ho ho ho

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 02:38:12 GMT

Christmas comes. Christmas goes.

It's one day a year where people are supposed to plaster a smile on their faces and become part of a family.

Where is that the rest of the year?

Not knocking Christmas - I adore that magic in the air that comes seemingly hand in hand with the spirit of giving and the romance in the air. (its totally there at this time of the year.. the snow.. fires... )

It's just sad that the other 11 months of the year are jam packed with other things like work stress. Family stress. School stress. Stress stress stress. Stress is a bitch frankly. Not that there isn't stress at Christmas time because woo wee is there ever a lingering stress in the air as well. It just seems less blinding at this time of the year.

granted. This could indeed be a babble fest of babbleness. BUT the point is. Is i am all riled up and most definitely passed out in the line at La Senza today while boxing day shopping. Like... black out smack on the floor pass out.

I'm a little worried! Those special little fainting moments have never ever happened to me before.

WEIRD.

Anywho. To be a little bit ironic - MERRY belated Christmas to all you folks out there.... and remember to spread a little cheer now and then throughout the rest of the months too.

We could all use more bright spots every day.

i want to sleep!

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 16:01:43 GMT

SO sleeping lately has been quite the task ... often resulting in me not actually zonking out untill the 7 in the morning ish mark (after hitting the sack aound 11/12) This is not good. THis is annoying. I would love a strategy for making my mind turn off and shut out all of the thoughts that seem to all unravel just when i am trying to SLEEP. Crikey. I am constantly tired and i am my own worst enemy and i want to fix it!! ANyone have any suggestions!?

please - i'm all ears.

Random Thinking.

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 01:28:28 GMT

Wouldn't it be nice to slip into a momentary bliss and let the white noise fade to silence so that you can look into the eyes that are boring into yours - the eyes of a person who loves you... and realize just that. ANd how much you in turn care about that person. Maybe it's the infactuation that makes the world itself dissappear in the background.
You know. It's funny how simple melodies can stir your thoughts around into brain stew.. or an out of control pile of mud. And then - for a second you forget that daunting tune untill you are just about to lay your head onto your pillow... and then the song rears it's beautiful head right back into your mind. Every note throbbing under your eyelids to a point that you can't sleep because you are so distracted by your wondering mind. The mind that turns on.. when you want to turn off. Like an old music box it plays... turning the little metal spool and clicking out each slightly distorted note.. and the pretending.. fathoming... dreaming of what is and what could be or what will NEVER be of what will happen of love of falling out of love or marriage of death and children of passing of losing of being lost... of everything and nothing it goes on and on and on. The white noise. What happens when the music stops?

------------

corner of a coffee shop. Circled checkered... wood grain table. Three chairs. One for me. One for my bag. One for my imagination. Window beside me. It was supposed to be warmer today- but the wind makes the snow blow across the open field beside the parking lot like a sandstorm. Only the blast of air stings your cheeks with icy kisses and cold in general that brings tears into the tearducts and the seasonal sniffles that aggrivates EVERYONE but also.. happens to everyone. It's a lose lose situation when it comes to sniffles. I can feel the chill radiating through the window. But i have my peppermint mocha to warm me up. Funny how you can actually feel yourself warming up from the inside out. Commercialized drinks for the season are part of the season now. It kind of ignites a spirit inside ... (not just with the caffiene) but with being inside the little coffee shop.. thawing to the smells of gingerbread, peppermint.. mixed with all the regular coffees and teas.. Light jazz playing. Well. Ray Charles singing smooth Christmas faves. So it IS jazz... but to everyone knowing the tragedies of Ray himself then light jazz is quite the oxymoron as his past is as heavy and tragic as any past can be. WHICH everyone knows now thanks to the popularity of uncovering real life people through the beauty of film. AH human curiousity (i am a culprit.. i saw that movie opening night.. and loved it). It reveals the 'dark' side of a musician's soul.
Through the drugs. The sex. The blindness. There lies that amazing FACT. Ray Charles was fucking good at what he did. He wrote timeless music.
Timeless. An impressive thing indeed. Everyone dreams of jumping off that cliff - getting a record deal - making and releasing an album - hearing you YES you on the radio. And then on your decent from jumping off the cliff... you don't sprout wings (because.. hello impossible) BUT birds... clasp onto your limbs and fly .. dragging you up up up.. higher and higher... further into this fantasy world of amazement. The real test is... when you go to take a seat in that prestigious spot in the clouds.. do the clouds envelope you and make you the most comfy seat in the world? Embracing the fact that you've denied the odds and become god like and TIMELESS... ooor do you fall right back through the clouds. Falling faster than imaginable back to earth. The ground. Reality? To be forgotten. Except for the odd time when your song is played in the wee hours.. on programs like Delilah (again i am a guilty occasional listener..) and then some random person comes up to you and scrunches up their face in vauge recognition... compacting their brain and their thoughts get closer together until they can decipher who you are .. why they know you.. and as soon as that flash of OOOOOO YEEEAAA goes off in their mind (if it goes off) they may choose to say mothing at all because.. hey they might be embarassed of your so called failed attempt. FAILURE.
Is failure the idea of chasing a dream? Hell. Who is the faceless person in front of you anyway? And all the hundreds of other faceless people swarming around all time downtown ... like sheep or lemmings? Office job workers? Desk jobs... Mountains of paperwork and over hours of calculations .. stress.. headaches.. and.. mental... brainwashing... sadness???? Only to go home at a time where you were considering staying at the office overnight for practicality and then for a moment clicked back to your senses and drove home to that family. FAMILY... seeing the sad faces of those who adore you and love you and MISS you and who are forgetting who YOU are. Because you. Yes you. Are too tired and still stressed form work. And these people who unconditionally love you get the brunt of your grizzled attitude. What a life! Yes a musician may barely see there family.. may not have a family.. is definitly stressed.. and probably HUNGRY and.. on the verge of being sick... but maybe somewhere is that inner satisfaction of HEY... here i am. I'm doing what i wanted to do! What a world. Sometimes i wonder if money creating jobs creating standing creating welfare creating technology creating ... perhaps the demise of HOME and love in the process? By option. Really. But still. Where is that Earthy love? The Obvious.. dirty.. rough on the edges but deep and pure on the inside (where it counts) love.

A beautiful thing indeed.

THERE is my pondering babble fest of the daaaaayyy.

ON ANOTHER NOTE - In andrea land. Things are well. And ... For those who may ask. WHY Yes. Austin and I ARE indeed together.

:)

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 04:14:29 GMT

"Can't Let It Go"

You said you'd light a candle
And you'd say a prayer for me
I feel the light has dimmed and gone
Half the world is begging
While the other half steals
Where did everything go wrong?

Some days I can't believe
Others, I'm on my knees
Trying to be heard

I was your anger
And you were my fear
Now that it's over
Of course it's so clear
But you were no angel
And I was no sin
Somehow I can't let it go
I can't let it go

And half the world is sleeping
While the other half dreams
You close your eyes
And then you're gone
And maybe my intentions
Have been misunderstood
I know you feel so beautifully wronged

Some days I can't believe
Others, I'm on my knees
Hoping I belong

I was your anger
And you were my fear
Now that it's over
Of course it's so clear
But you were no angel
And I was no sin
Somehow I can't let it go
I can't let it go

And laughter is my soul's release
But we're not smiling anymore
And can't we try to win this peace?
'Cause we're never gonna win
Never gonna win this war

I was your anger
And you were my fear
Now that it's over
Of course it's so clear
But you were no angel
And I was no sin
Somehow I can't let it go
I can't let it go

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 04:11:33 GMT

Dear you know who you are.

My heart is stuck on the bottom of your shoe.

Please scrape it off and stop stepping on it.

It's your choice whether you tenderly nurse it back to health or wait for time to dust it off.

Thank you.

-Andrea

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 07:19:35 GMT

Mid way through Oklahoma run.
Ends ooon Saturday (we have shows every day until then and 2 on Saturday itself if anyone would still like to check it out!!!)

Felt like announcing the NEXT thang.

Morpheus Theatre's production of Gilbert and Sullivans perhaps darkest show... Yeomen of the Guard.

I will be playing Elsie Maynard..

yes.... this is my exciting third lead in a row!! Tres fantastic. I am absolutly floored!!

The run for that show will be March 30 -April 7th once again at the Pumphouse.

yay!!!

AS for life in general. Not much to update. I have discovered Gingerbread Frappacinos.. and with that rekindled my love for the Christmas season. The magic about it. That... anticipation and hope in the air. Love. It's great. One of my favorites times of the year for sure. AND i have found out that I am a waffle whore... I adore waffle clothing so much that i have all of sudden gained copious amounts of it in plentiful colors..
AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!

AND I'M TOTALLY BONIFED EXCITED FOR HAPPY FEET TO OPEN ON FRIDAY!! EEE!! I AM GOING TO GO SEE IT SUNDAY!!! EEEE!!! PERHAPS BY MYSELF BUT THAT'S A OK AS I CAN"T WAIT TO SEE IT BECAUSE I AM A GEEK AND I LOVE PENGUINS AND THE FACT THAT THEY SING... OMG MAKES IT THAT MUCH CUTER AND FABULOUS AND ... THROUGH IN TAP DANCING AND I AM A HAPPY HAPPY GIRL!!

and i'm out!

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 23:50:37 GMT

Drama was interesting today.

My drama class - first of all is very as one might put 'off book'.
It's not a standard drama class.. not that there is a standardization of drama class. But there arn't scripts. There isn't that THIS IS HOW YOU ACT. THIS IS HOW YOU FIND YOUR CHARACTER.

There is... the become intune with yourself and understand that... then take a second glance at the world and your surroundings and people. Taking the wall of judging and stereotyping down and really seeing people.. culture.. yourself and LIFE how is really is. The roots. The guts. It's really a class that isn't directed - rather facilitated. It's collective learning.

I have become more in touch with myself for sure. I have found that i am able to find that neutral state in which i ANDREA can go from andrea mode to ... Laurey mode .. or whatever character I need to be mode.

Today however ... our prof brought in a box. It's full of things that trigger his mind. Free his thoughts. Start that ball of imagination rolling with inspiration. I didn't know what to expect really. But he opened the box and pulls out a letter. A letter written in January 1944 from a man who was serving in the navy to a woman who sent him a ditty bag (.. basically a care package). Our prof found the letter in an abandoned house. He read it to us. And then he made us close our eyes and he continued to pull things out of the box. Next thing was a music box. It was one of those old ones that has that spool like metal piece that has notches on it so that when it turns it pops up metal teeth that are set up to brush against the spool. It creates this crazy haunting type of music. And this melody in particular started my 'eyelid' theatre persay. Anyway... with our eyes still closed he pulled out horse bells. The ones that are places around a horses neck during a hayride and such. Old bells. All different.. so that when they clang together they make the most a tonal noises EVER. So in my mind I started thinking about the letter.. and started thinking about how that could have been the last document that that man ever WROTE and sent to another person. With the music in the background.. i started picturing a woman. I saw a picture. I saw a woman's hand holding an old framed photograph.. and that hand caressing the face in the picture with her fingers. With longing. With a sense of waiting. Insatiable waiting. I got so involved in this idea... this emotion that i most definitly teared up in class.

When we opened our eyes.. i saw that majority of the class had tears welled up in their own eyes.. or already fearlessly staining their cheeks.

I love inspiration.

... I love and hate when you feel so much that you can't quite decifer what exactly is going on.. or what you are precisely feeling. Or how to relieve that feeling and USE is. But you just know that you are ALIVE. That your heart is well in tune and beating and reacting and feeding off of those brain waves being sent through that interconnected path from head to heart.

Piano music is a huge HUGE thing for me. I could listen to a piano 'riff' over and over again and get something different from it every time. Piano music is my muse. And not Bach.. Mozart.. or Beethoven style piano necessarily. Just because that is supposedly REAL music doesn't mean that it is the most passion felt. Everyone gets something from different random places. Different moments. I'm not about the huge orchestral moments when everything is going NUTS. It's amazing and beautiful in it's own. But when a lone piano plays solemn notes... and has that moment. That vulnerable moment... It gives me chills. It sounds like rain.. it sounds like tears.. it sounds like hope. Like love. Like dispair.. happieness.. envy.. lust... rage.

Passion.

STOLEN bwa ha ha

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 19:38:51 GMT

Opening Credits/Pre-Show: Slide - Goo Goo Dolls

Birth: Wild World - Cat Stevens

Disturbing childhood montage: Rainbow Connection - The Muppet Show (aka.. kermit)

18th Birthday: Somewhere in the Middle - Dishwalla

Falling in love for the first time: Only Hope - Mandy Moore (don't laugh - it's true... haha it was our song..!) TIED with Nora - Blessid Union of Souls

Sad heartbreaking overly emotional someone hand me my Oscar please scene: I'll Be There for You - Bon Jovi

Inspiring recovery scene: Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something

Musical scene: Save Tonight - Eagle Eyed Cherry

Dying Scene: Lightning Crashes - Live

Funeral Music: Tracks of my Tears - Gavin Degraw (cover or Smokey Robinson.. either would do)

Ending credits: Better Together - Jack Johnson

adding on...;
Highschool Song: Summer of 69 - Bryan Adams
Honorable mentions: The Best of You (Acoustic Version) - Foo Fighters; Jealous Guy - Gavin Degraw; The Good Kind - The Wreckers; Standing Outside the Fire - Garth Brooks; Shameless - Garth Brooks; Overcome - Live; Stolen - Dashboard Confessional

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 06:09:09 GMT

Show opens in a WEEEEEK.
I am a little bummed out. Feels like i got a little kicked in the bum and i don't handle that well mainly because i jump to that IMMEDIATE conclusion now because i'm used to it. ANd i shouldn't. But i do. Don't say that everything is fine and that things will work out knowing what i want and how i feel and then give me this intense... blissful feeling of HOPE and then let it so easily crash to pieces on the incredibly notoriously unforgiving floor. I give up. ... pretty much because i'm at a point where i care SO much that i don't want to care at all anymore. Because it hurts. Your damn... eye crinkles boy. I need to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve and lock it up in a box where it's safe. As the Wizard in the wizard of oz logically states to the tin man -

"Hearts will never be pratical until they are made unbreakable"

grrrr

On a happy note. Oklahoma looks good. The orchestra (AHEM YES THE ORCHESTRA) is fantastic and it is a strong solid cast. Should be a great, fun, energetic show.
Y'all should come.

Running Friday November 10th - November 18th at the Pumphouse Theatre.
www.frontrowcentre.ca or 263-0079 for tickets. Book SOON as tickets are indeed selling fast.

Stay tuned to the Calgary journal as there will be an article, as there will likely be one in the nieghbours section of the Herald in the upcoming week.

O - K - L - A - H - O - M - A
oklahooooooooomAAAA
YEOW

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 05:05:04 GMT

"Good Day"

I say to myself
Self, why are you awake again? It's one a.m.
Standing with the fridge wide open, staring
Such a sight, florescent light
The stars are bright
Might make a wish, if I believed in that shit but
As it is, I might watch TV
Cause it's nice to see people more messed up than me
I say to myself, as I smile at the wall, just let myself fall

It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see
It's gonna be alright, cause I'm alright with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gotta be

I shiver, shut the door
Can't think standing here no more
I'm alone, my mine's racing, heart breaking
Can you be everything I need you to be?
Can you protect me like a daughter?
Can you love me like a father?
Can you drink me like water?
Say I'm like the desert, Just Way Hotter.

The point of it all
Is that if I should fall
Still you're name I'll call

It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see
It's gonna be OK, cause I'm OK with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be

As long as we laugh out loud
Laugh like we're mad
Cause this crazy, mixed up beauty is all that we have
Because what's love but an itch we can't scratch, a joke we can't catch
God, but still we laugh

Get back in bed, turn off the TV
You say "I'll be alright baby, just wait and see."

It's gonna be all right, it's gonna be okay
It's gonna be all right, just wait and see
Its gonna be all right, no matter what they say
Its gonna be a good day, just wait, just see
It's gonna be okay, cause I'm okay with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be okay...
Uh oh, awake again
It's one A.M.
Staring
Such a sight
Well, at least the stars are bright

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 03:49:39 GMT

So sometimes the weirdest things can happen.
This weekend was hard for me. Drama... with two boys. I have a lot of boy drama. I am sick of boy drama. I let out all the feelings and got them to the surface (for myself - i didn't harass either of them.. it's not worth it!) aaand delt with that. Accepted it. Hurt a little bit. And then today I woke up in the most fantastic mood.

I was so happy all day. I had this great revelation in drama class... (haha actual drama class..) and found that center.. that neutral state where i can switch over from Andrea to Laurey and become that character and be HER. Walk like her.. think like her.. feel like her. Know what she likes.. realize her intentions. It just clicked. Definitly a eureka moment. I can't wait to put it into action.
Today also is the first day I can say that I am off book for Oklahoma. A task that i set for myself and accomplished sooner than i thought i would. Surprising. But relieving.
Today is also the first day that i can say that I felt confident and happy in ballet class. I looked in the mirror and felt pretty and not fatter than any of the other girls in the class. I felt beautiful and that I fit in in my own quirky way. I also didn't get messed up over choreography. Which in itself is very odd for me. My arms did what they were supposed to when they were supposed to do it and my feet pointed correctly.. and i turned out fully and supported my weight fantastically! I was balanced. It was really weird. AND i wasn't intimidated or distracted by the piano player. Which i normally would be. As I think to much about how terrible I look in tights. Today i was just hyper and full of energy and could care less what he thinks because I stopped chasing. It's... not going to happen and I am ok with that.

Then I came home.
And found out that my cousin died.
She was in her 60s.
She was my connection to music, theatre... and the passion that is required but not teachable... just a natural thing.
She understood me.
I understood her.
She headed up Silver Stars in Calgary - a broadway.. esque group for 45+ here in Calgary.
She was a beautiful beautiful dancer and lady.
She cut off her connection with our family about 2 years ago when she was diagnosed with her second bought of breast cancer.
She hated to be seen suffering.. and hated people to know she was suffering prefering to do it in isolation and silence.
I always thought that she would get better and come see me in a show one day.
aaaaaaaand now she's gone.
But i don't know. I just have this overly creepy beautiful feeling that she was with me all day. I know she'll be at Oklahoma. I know that that inspiration will help me to dig down and bring out the best in myself for her. In her honour.

Sooo... I offcially hate Cancer as in the past 5 years it has claimed 3 members of my family.
1 to colon cancer ... on August 5th 2001
1 to breast/lung... everywhere cancer on July 2nd 2005
And now 1 more to breast cancer .... October 3rd 2006.

RIP Joyce. Say hi to Granny and tell her I love her.

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 21:40:11 GMT

Jenny's afraid of water
I mean she swims so well, but still
She's afraid of water
And so she won't go near the sea
Not me

Katie's afraid of darkness
I mean she sleeps and all, but still
She's afraid of darkness
So when the lights are out she has to hold my hand
I don't understand

I'm not afraid of anything
Be it mountains, water, dragons, dark or sky
I'm not afraid of anything
Tell me where's the challenge if you never try
So watch me fly
I'm not afraid

Daddy's afraid of babies
I mean he got through me, but now
He's afraid of babies
Guess he's scared of what they'll be
Not me

And Mama's afraid of crying
You know she tries to hold it in
But she's afraid of crying
And she can look at me with tears stuck in her eye
And I don't know why

I'm not afraid of anything
Be it growing old or going out of style
I'm not afraid of anything
Who would give up what they want without a trial
Another mile
I'm not afraid

And I feel the calling of adventure
And I hear the ringing in my ear
The lights are glaring
Trumpets blaring
I'm right here
And I hear the calling of tomorrow
And I feel the stirring in my bones
And David loves me
He's afraid to hold me

Listen to the calling of excitement
Can you feel the pounding of my heart
The lights are ready
Pulse is steady
I can start

Never stop the calling of a challenge
Blessing on the water and the stones
And David loves me
He's afraid to tell me
David loves me
He's afraid to trust me
He's afraid to hold me
And he'll always be
He's afraid of me

And I'm not afraid of anyone
I am sure to win with anyone at all
I'm not afraid of anyone
Not a soul alive can get behind this wall
So let them call
And watch them fall
‘Cause after all
I'm not afraid.

I love this song... because the conviction of the song in her voice and the accentuations that she uses.... make it so she's talking herself up into being this person she envisions herself being. ... a lot of this song is me.

I AM afraid of a lot of things. but the biggest thing i am afraid of is letting people see my weakness(es..) and letting that get in the way of my sucess.

So there ya have it.
I'm Not Afraid from ... Songs For a New World (AMAZING) BY Jason Robert Brown (AMAZING)

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 04:11:56 GMT

OK.
So phase 1 on journey has begun...
I am taking 3 courses at the UNi.
Theory. Drama. And Dance (ballet AND jazz)
Bonjour... to work on the triple threat action i am NOT but will be!!!!!!

So i will be kicking around the uni. But not in choir. And not often. I will be getting an afternoon job. But Theory is good because that's my weak point in music....
Drama... because i don't actually have any formal acting training outside of high school. So that will be amazing. I can become a 'wanker actor'.
And dance. Because the more the merrier the more intense the better. The more dance the less gym on those days!! open gym times for MWF. Super excited.
AND MY NIGHTS ARE FREEEE FOR SHOOOWSSS WEEEEEEEEE

perfecto!!!

A change in me.

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 05:04:39 GMT

SO.
No curling.
No school.
No Atco.
No health insurance.
No dental insurance..
No insurance..

I dropped out.
I officially did it.
Why piss away another year of doing NOTHING that will amount to anything in the long run. I will be working my ass off somewhere to save up money to leave this city... and pursue my dream.

I need to be on that stage... i need to preform.
I don't have a back up currently.
I figure at this point I need to go for it before my chance blows right on by me.

Next year I will be in Toronto, Victoria or... heaven forbid New York pursuing a dream in Musical Theatre.

Pursuing a New Life.

Being ME.

Nothing to hold me back now but myself.

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 21:01:27 GMT

Um. workout update! it has been awhile... I am 20 now! yay!!
oK. Update.
I HAVE ABS NOW!! um my stomach is like the best part of my body right now (not to sound shallow or anything) but i'm pretty stoked!! Legs are getting better. Calves are definetly showing a whole lot of toning from the running/stairmaster .

Still need full body work (ongoing process)
.... thighs! Butt.. arms. Those are my main focus.

I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT MY CORE! like.. front AND back!!

I have been to the gym almost everyday this week - the days that i didn't go i ran outside! SO i did something everyday this week.
Theme of this was another 20/20/20 theme. No pool this week.
I did 20 on the stairmaster folled by 20 on the bike followed by 20 on the elliptical.
And then i do my floor routine every night!!
yaaaay.

On a personal front... i am FRAZZLED AS HELL.
here are lyrics for my moment in time.

"So yesterday"

You can change your life - if you wanna
You can change your clothes - if you wanna
If you change your mind
Well, that's the way it goes

But I'm gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat - cause I wanna
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back

At least not today, not today, not today
'cause

[Chorus:]
If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away

Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay

You can say you're bored - if you wanna
You can act real tough - if you wanna
You can say you're torn
But I've heard enough

Thank you... you made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear
It isn't gonna happen here
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause

[Chorus]

If you're over me, I'm already over you
If it's all been done, what is left to do
How can you hang up if the line is dead
If you wanna walk, I'm a step ahead
If you're moving on, I'm already gone
If the light is off then it isn't on
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause

[chorus]

yep!

Hokay. I am off to the gym for a swim!! 40 lengths today. :)

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 03:13:31 GMT

So. Workoutness...
saturday - gym ran 35 mins on elliptical. Swam 30 lengths in pool.
Sunday - Ran outside... 10 minute run 30 minute walk (baaad knees!)
Monday - 25 elliptical 25 bike 20 lengths
Tuesday - 25 elliptical 25 bike 20 lengths
Wednesday (tonight) Salsa/merenge class!!
Tomorrow - soccer and singing!!
Friday - 30 elliptical 30 lengths
Saturday.... Bowness park shinagens..
Sunday... wakeboarding
Monday... gym!! and singing.

BUT i've been bad! i went shopping for the BBQ at costco.. and bought some cookies (... like 2 boxes of cookies in one... *drool*) and in my chocolate deprived state.. i ate like 5 cookies yesterday and 5 today! hahah BAD!
BAD BAD BAD!
and i don't feel in the best state today - perhaps the cookies overload. But other than the cookies i've been eating really well.

I'm almost 20!! um like.. 3 days!!

On another note. I saw a guy from uni who used to be a bit on the bigger side. I thought i was doing well with my working out but... he's lost at least 20 pounds since uni ended and he looks really good!! I was inspired... 15/20 is what i would eventually like to lose in the end. but since i'm terrifed of the scale i haven't stepped on it because i don't want to mortify myself and depress the hell out of myelf by shattering any thoughts of progress i think that i have made!!! I hate the scale. I hate weight. I hate being connected to one. It's heartbreaking sometimes!

On another positive note i suppose... holy attention from the men batman. It hasn't been like this... ever?? yeeeea... like elevator looks have been nutty in the past couple weeks!! I think that;s more of confidence building up in me than actually changing.

Crazy.

But i am only interested in ONE guy right now. One one one. WHYYYYyyyyy does he seem to be the one i can kind of but not REALLY have!? haha. it's like HEY let's try it... but no... i won't call you!! I don't want to do all the work! Just sweep me off my feet and kiss me damnit! hahaha

L'amour!!

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 04:31:24 GMT

OK so gym.. workout objective hot andrea update...

I have been going to the gym CONSISTANTLY at least 4 times a week. when i don't go to the gym i make sure to do a mat work out at home of sorts.

At the gym i have upped the level on the elliptical (it's now 2 higher from when i started!! yay!!) AND i can go for much longer. Although i get grossly sweaty and unattractive! I run for 35-40 minutes on the elliptical and i have been swimming 35 lengths directly afterwards. Somedays i just swim. Somedays i just run. It depends on the day. But i try to do both!!

This week I went to the gym Tuesday - swam and ran
Wednesday - i went to salsa/merenge class for an hour then swam after
tonight - soccer
tomorrow... swim/run!! woo!!
Saturday swim/run
aaand then sunday i will JUST run.
Monday is off day!!! yay off day!!

My abs look fantastic! My back is starting to get more defined - love handles have decreased. My butt dimples (those 2 dimples on your lower back above you butt..) are starting to appear!! LOVE it that was one of my goals.

Still want to trim/tone my lower waist/butt/thighs and my arms. And once uni starts i want to be at the gym every day that i am at the uni. i want to make a habit.

Food wise. I have been doing really well at getting my 2L of water a day. I have been eating relativly healthy.. i have sinned a few times (java chip frapgasms, dark chocolate, and popcorn being the main culprits!). Things are going well!!

yay me!

On another less positive note - i am still completly terrified of stepping on the scale. It freaks me out and i don't want to lose confidence like i know i will if i do step on it. i hate hate HATE numbers. I hate size numbers in clothes too... arrrr it all pisses me off. Shopping is still a thing that depresses me. BUT TODAY... i went down in bra size actually. NOT cup size.. but inch wise around my back so that was coolio!! AND i got a fantastically gorgeous dress to wear to the 4 weddings i am singing at, the phantom and the CAT awards. (it's three sizes smaller than what i was wearing at the beginning of summer!!!! yay!!)

ok. i am done my updatular yay andrea entry!

This is HARD WORK but i am trying.

Go team Beauty and the Beast!!!!

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 22:33:37 GMT

This year’s nominees represent the diversity and quality that Calgarians have
come to expect from local community theatre organizations. The awards, which are
divided between musicals and plays, celebrate the contributions and talents that
local theatre artists and enthusiasts provide to residents of the Calgary area,
with nominations selected through a combination of public input and show
adjudications.

Top Nominees (Musicals)
• Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (StoryBook Theatre) – 14 nominations
• Evita & Leader of the Pack (Front Row Centre) – 11 nominations each
• All three productions among nominees for Outstanding Production of a Musical

Top Nominees (Plays)
• A Line in the Sand (Downstage) & The Graduate (echo37 Theatre Fellowship) – 6
nominations each
• Lend Me a Tenor (Morpheus Theatre) – 5 nominations
• All three productions among nominees for Outstanding Production of a Play

Front Row Centre is the top-nominated musical-producing company with a total of
30 nominations, while Downstage is tops among play-producing companies with 13
nominations. StoryBook Theatre, which produces both musicals and plays, received
a total of 20 nominations.

In addition to the production-related awards, which recognize achievement in
acting, directing, design, writing, choreography and more, a special juried
award, The Sandy Singer Award, will be presented at the 2006 CAT Awards,
recognizing Outstanding Contribution to Community Theatre.

The recipients of the 2006 CAT Awards will be announced at the gala ceremony on
Saturday, August 26th, 2006 at 7:30 pm in the Martha Cohen Theatre in the EPCOR
Centre for the Performing Arts.

Tickets to the event are $15 and are on sale now through the Calgary-ACTS web
site at www.calgary-acts.com or by calling the Storybook Theatre Box Office at
216-0808. For more information about the awards, to learn about sponsorship
opportunities or to find out more about community theatre in Calgary as well as
Calgary-ACTS member companies, please visit www.calgary-acts.com.

2006 CAT AWARD NOMINEES

Outstanding Performance by a Supporting Actor in a Play
•Troy Greenwood - Prometheus Bound - Downstage
•Joe-Norman Shaw - A Line in the Sand - Downstage
•Bill Watson - Lend Me a Tenor - Morpheus Theatre

Outstanding Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Play
•Donna Barnfield - The Graduate - echo37 Theatre Fellowship
•Kathy Macovichuk - Lend me a Tenor - Morpheus Theatre
•Stephanie Morris - The Graduate - echo37 Theatre Fellowship
•Carla Mueller - Taking Sides - Workshop Theatre
•Julie Orton - Prometheus Bound - Downstage

Outstanding Costume Design
•Faith Casement with Frank MacLeod, Rachel Millard, Roberta Fernandes, Christine
Horne, Lynn Rowley, and Darren Snopek - Evita - Front Row Centre Players
•Frank MacLeod - Into the Woods - Cappuccino Musical Theatre
•Frank MacLeod with Dianne Eberhardt and Angie Yzerman – Hair - Front Row Centre
Players
•Frank MacLeod with Rachel Millard, Roberta Fernandes, Neil Marshall, and Mayhem
- Leader of the Pack - Front Row Centre Players
•Frank MacLeod, Jenifer Pope, Donna Graham, Maureen Mosher, Collette Seders;
Faith Casement - The Peacock Season - Morpheus Theatre

Outstanding Lighting Design
•Paul Hilton - Evita - Front Row Centre Players
•Paul Hilton - Hair - Front Row Centre Players
•Paul Hilton - Leader of the Pack - Front Row Centre Players
•Ian Martens - Eve - Broad Minds Productions & Cappuccino Musical Theatre
•David Smith - Prometheus Bound - Downstage

Outstanding Scenic Design
•Bill Brown & Alana Gowdy - Taking Sides - Workshop Theatre
•Bill Brown with Deb Miall - HMS Pinafore & Trial by Jury - Morpheus Theatre
•Anton deGroot, Simon Mallett, Ian Martens, Derek Paulich, and David Smith –
pppeeeaaaccceee - Downstage
•Scott Mushens – Arthur - From Boy to King - StoryBook Theatre
•George Palmer - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•JP Thibodeau - Into the Woods - Cappuccino Musical Theatre
•Angela Woodard with Bill Brown, Laurier Dubeau, & Jacquie Uhrich - Leader of
the Pack - Front Row Centre Players

Outstanding Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Musical
•Brittany Jordan - Into the Woods - Cappuccino Musical Theatre
•Amanda Lottermoser - Evita - Front Row Centre Players
•Stefanie Lyall - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•Val Reilly - HMS Pinafore - Morpheus Theatre
•Nicole Smithanik - Trial by Jury - Morpheus Theatre

Outstanding Performance by a Supporting Actor in a Musical
•Bart Kwiatkowski - Into the Woods - Cappuccino Musical Theatre
•Dave Gagnier - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•Jomar Ferreras - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•David Hume - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•Brian Unterschultz - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•Chris Willott - Evita - Front Row Centre Players
Outstanding Musical Direction
•Jevon Hills - Into the Woods - Cappuccino Musical Theatre
•Jim Sarantis – Evita - Front Row Centre Players
•Patrice Barnes - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•Patrice Barnes - HONK! The Ugly Duckling Musical - StoryBook Theatre
•Wilma Rothbauer - Leader of the Pack - Front Row Centre Players

Outstanding Choreography
•Rebecca Foster - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•Karen Iwanski-Doutre - Evita - Front Row Centre Players
•Krista Vander Neut - Hair - Front Row Centre Players
•Angela Woodard - Leader of the Pack - Front Row Centre Players

Outstanding Performance by a Chorus or Ensemble
•Chorus - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•Ensemble - Durang! - Hidden Insanity Theatre
•Chorus - Evita - Front Row Centre Players
•Chorus - Hair - Front Row Centre Players
•Chorus - Leader of the Pack - Front Row Centre Players
•Ensemble - pppeeeaaaccceee - Downstage

Outstanding Sound Design or Composition
•Jeff Burnell - It's a Wonderful Life - echo37 Theatre Fellowship
•Andrea Katz - Hair - Front Row Centre Players
•Simon Mallett - A Line in the Sand - Downstage
•Simon Mallett - Prometheus Bound - Downstage
•George Smith and Stuart Bentley - The Manchurian Candidate - Workshop Theatre

Outstanding Original Script or Adaptation
•Heather Drage and Scott Henderson - Pages - Theatre Works Alberta
•Dan Gibbins - Pride and Prima Donnas - Scorpio Theatre
•Dan Gibbins - U-Boat of the Soul - Scorpio Theatre
•Nicholas Hanson & Jeremy Mason; Composed by Randy Ouston - Rumplestilskin -
StoryBook Theatre
•Val Lieske and Erin Beaubier - Absence - Fire Exit Theatre and Corps Bara Dance
Theatre

Outstanding Newcomer
•Sean Brandenburg - HMS Pinafore - Morpheus Theatre
•Jessica Jain - Hair - Front Row Centre Players
•Masud Khan - A Line in the Sand - Downstage
•Andrea O'Brien - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•Alwyn Price - Closing Times - Liffey Players
•Katie Schoenberg - Leader of the Pack - Front Row Centre Players
•Laurette Tabachnick - The Manchurian Candidate - Workshop Theatre

Outstanding Performance by a Leading Actor in a Play
•Aaron Conrad - Pride and Prima Donnas - Scorpio Theatre
•Rafal Drozdowski - Play It Again Sam - Workshop Theatre
•Allan Hardin - The Manchurian Candidate - Workshop Theatre
•Zander Laurie - The Best Christmas Pageant Ever - StoryBook Theatre
•Kevin MacDonnell - A Line in the Sand - Downstage
•Scott Roberts - The Graduate - echo37 Theatre Fellowship
•JP Thibodeau - Lend Me a Tenor - Morpheus Theatre

Outstanding Performance by a Leading Actress in a Play
•Jennifer Merio - The Peacock Season - Morpheus Theatre
•Barb Mitchell - The Graduate - echo37 Theatre Fellowship
•Stephanie Morris - It's a Wonderful Life - echo37 Theatre Fellowship
•Annika Odegard - The Best Christmas Pageant Ever - StoryBook Theatre
•Laurette Tabachnick - The Manchurian Candidate - Workshop Theatre

Outstanding Direction of a Play
•Sean Anderson - Lend Me a Tenor - Morpheus Theatre
•Amanda Chapman - Durang! - Hidden Insanity Theatre
•Iam Coulter - The Graduate - echo37 Theatre Fellowship
•Val Leiske and Karen Sudds - Absence - Fire Exit Theatre and Corps Bara Dance
Theatre
•Simon Mallett - A Line in the Sand - Downstage
•Simon Mallett - pppeeeaaaccceee - Downstage

Outstanding Direction of a Musical
•Richard Michelle-Pentelbury - Evita - Front Row Centre Players
•Tarra Lois Riley - Into the Woods – Cappuccino Musical Theatre
•Jeremy Walker - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•Angela Woodard - Leader of the Pack - Front Row Centre Players

Outstanding Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical
•Crystal Balint - Into the Woods - Cappuccino Musical Theatre
•Deanne Matley - Evita - Front Row Centre Players
•Andrea O'Brien - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•Katie Schoenberg - Leader of the Pack - Front Row Centre Players
•Kathryn Waters - Hair - Front Row Centre Players

Outstanding Performance by a Leading Actor in a Musical
•Brent Middleton - Leader of the Pack - Front Row Centre Players
•JP Thibodeau - Into the Woods - Cappuccino Musical Theatre
•Levon Yon - Evita - Front Row Centre Players
•Jeremy Yurk - Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre

Sandy Singer Award - Outstanding Contribution to Community Theatre in Calgary
•Jeff Burnell
•Alana Gowdy
•Bill Torrie

Outstanding Production of a Play
•A Line in the Sand - Downstage
•Absence - Fire Exit Theatre and Corps Bara Dance Theatre
•Durang! - Hidden Insanity Theatre
•Lend Me a Tenor - Morpheus Theatre
•The Graduate - echo37 Theatre Fellowship

Outstanding Production of a Musical
•Disney's Beauty and the Beast - StoryBook Theatre
•Evita - Front Row Centre Players
•Hair - Front Row Centre Players
•Into the Woods - Cappuccino Musical Theatre
•Leader of the Pack - Front Row Centre Players

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 06:45:50 GMT

Houston - life just got very very interesting.

And i like it i like it!!!

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 00:39:52 GMT

I'm getting sick.

I have to sing tomorrow.

I am out uber late tonight.

Shit.